Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Am I being punished? Did I do something horrifically wrong to deserve the two and half hours of pun-intendeds? I was under the impression that super-high budget movies weren't usually painfully long because it costs too much money to add that extra bomb sequence. Transformers 2 might not be the WORST movie ever made, but it is definitely in the top 10. I actually like Shia LaBoeuf...I think he's a pretty decent actor--and Megan Fox, yes, you are hot, but unfortunately, this does not equal a good movie. It doesn't even equal a movie that makes any sense! I honestly didn't know what robot was bad or good because it was just a solid clash of metal 90% of the time. I cannot even put into words just how bad the script was--can I even call it a script? From what I remember from my screenwriting classes, I am pretty sure every rule of "writing a decent movie" was unsurprisingly broken. I don't know why I care, I wasn't expecting "Casablanca," but a decent action flick isn't that hard to reproduce. I blame you, Michael Bay. You are Satan's gift to filmmaking, but for some reason, the public (including myself) are dumb enough to buy your tickets, so who am I to judge?

Oh, and I DO believe this was the first film that named Barrack Obama as our sitting president. I can see him now in the Oval Office, vomiting at the sound of his name into a 24-carat gold trash can.

-10/10

MIHAIL!

Well, as the whole world now knows, the King of Pop is popping no more. Michael Jackson was one weird dude, but his music was music-world changing. Being eight-hours ahead of the US, I did not find out the horrific information until I woke up and the news was already 9 hours old. To say I was shocked was the understatement of the year. I believe a "you are fucking joking" was muttered out of my still sleeping lips.

Living in "Europe" gives me a different perspective on MJ, since they love the demented cement that he walks on over here. Case in point: My non-English speaking housekeeper who does not even know what the word "yes" in English means, walks into my house today telling me (in Romanian) that she cried over his passing, and kept throwing the holy trinity sign. "Oh, Mihail Jackson, El a morit!" Or something along those lines. All day she kept talking to me about his children and how the police hurt his heart. BUT, the most important thing that she brought up over and over was the fact that he came to Bucharest twice. Thats it. For this, he will always be remembered in a God-like way...even though he was one of only two people that has addressed the public from the House of Parliament and accidentally thanked the "people of Budapest." Hundreds of Romanians also flocked to the "Embasada SUA" (US Embassy), to lay flowers for their fallen pop star on our hallowed ground. And as I was walking to dinner, our neighbor was appropriately blasting "Thriller" through their windows for all to hear their love for their hero.

Not to mention that the internet basically shut down around 4:30pm CST due to surfers innundating google with "Michael Jackson" internet searches. Also, on iTunes, the Top 8 Album Downloads are all Michael Jackson, everything from "Essential Michael Jackson" to "Dangerous." I haven't seen a pop culture event affect the iTunes Top 100 so much, well--ever. Even American Idol does not dominate the Top 10 spots after a show. I mean, "Man in the Mirror" is the Number 2 download!

For all the haters out there who only label MJ a freak and a half--you have your reasons, but remember one thing...he was a legend, and his music, maybe not his behavior, deserves our respect. To this day, "Thriller" is still the number one selling album of all time. So, here's to you Michael, may your silver glove sparkle even more wherever you are.

PS--Zoie did the moon walk today...she rocked it.

Ed Hardy is Gay.

Dear Jon Gosselin,

We all understand that you are going through a mid-life crisis and your life as you know it is crumbling down around you. But this is no excuse for sporting Ed Hardy t-shirts. It makes you look douchey. Everyone looks douchey in Ed Hardy t-shirts--you are no exception.

I also see you got both your ears pierced...interesting.

That is all,

All of America