Breaking Dawn

Well, the final book in the Twilight series certainly had an apt title--I pushed dawn two nights in a row in order to finish it off.

Why I wasn't as panicked as reading the 7th Harry Potter, I was definitely anxious with the combination of not wanting to finish something and wanting to finish so I wouldn't be ruined by any spoilers. I hate that feeling of when I know that I am leaving a world that I want to be a part of. At least the first film hasn't come out yet, so hopefully if it does well, then we will have 3 more to look forward to.

I don't think this was my favorite of the 4 books--I am pretty sure nothing can compare to the OG Twilight I and being exposed to the lust of Edward and Bella. But it did an excellent job of wrapping things up and leaving Twilighters satisfied with their vampiric world. I missed some of the electric heat between Edward and Bella...I think what made them so sexy was their inability to um, "express their love" if I am being trite. Actually, Stephenie Meyer has commented before that many women have introduced their babies named Bella to her and said their conception was the result of the sexual tension in the book--ironic since Bella and Edward made abstinence sexy. I was seriously looking forward to reading about their first time on their honeymoon--not just an ellipses of the fact. Yes, I am like a teenage girl this way. You couldn't help but wonder what if would be like to be with the glistening perfection that is Edward Cullen--he was designed out of every woman's deepest desire of what an ideal mate would be...minus the bloodsucking thing.

But I guess the final book affected me more than I had originally thought: Yesterday I was complaining of constricting chest pains--sort of like after you get over a cough or when a panic attack is about to ensue. I felt I had trouble breathing all day, I attributed this to allergies or the humidity. However, when I finished Breaking Dawn at 2am, I turned off the light and those chest pains turned into a full-blown anxiety attack. My heart was hammering and I felt like I couldn't breathe worse than during the day when I was out and running errands. This made me realize that I was actually mourning over the loss of a world that is excellent to escape to. I vaguely remember doing this over Harry Potter as well, but that was more full-on depression for 3 days.

I will miss Edward, Bella, Jacob, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carslise and little Renesme more than I can express. All I can do is wait for Midnight Sun with bated breath and watch the Twilight trailer over and over again like an obsessed 13-year old Catholic school girl.

Thank you Stephenie Meyer, for making a mundane 26-year old females world a little brighter.