Family Futile

Since it is 24 degrees outside when only 48 hours ago it was 80, I am stuck inside watching the horror that is daytime television. I hate TV that is geared towards stay at home moms or the elderly--no offense, but they have horrible taste. Thank God for DVR so I can rescue myself. However, every once in a while I will have left my TV on The CW the night before from watching "Two and a Half Men" or "Friends," and I unfortunately stumble upon the mid-day showing of "Family Feud"

I understand that this particular game show has been on since God was a boy, but the drunken hosts of the days of yore were much more entertaining. Trying to not be molested on television was enough of a challenge...the answers were secondary. But now, it is not only stupid--but the absolute worst game show on TV. Why on EARTH would you agree to go on this show?

First of all, you are playing with your family--and let's be honest...it is always frustrating when your crazy uncle can't think of answer before he gets buzzed on "Most Common Things that Songs are Written About." I mean really...

Next, we have the paltry amount of prize money that you "win" if you beat the other mediocre family. This is almost 2009...and all you win is $20,000 to be divided among your 5 family members. Yay. I will take my $2,000 after taxes and buy a new house...wait...Also, if you do NOT win enough points in the final round, you only get $5 per correct point on the board. Five dollars? Are we eight?

And finally we come to the most important of the futile nature of this dumb game...you have to answer based on a sampling of 100 random people asked on the street. Now, I have over the years listened to various conversations of random people on the street, and I have but one things to say: we are ALL idiots. This isn't like "Jeopardy" or "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" where the answers are actually based on fact, so if you do not answer something correctly you can at least blame, I don't know, SCIENCE for your own personal failure. But when you get that horrific "X!!!" when you answer something completely legitimately, all you can blame is Bubba, the 9th grade drop-out who thought his answer of "In a Graveyard" to the question, "Where is a Popular Place to Get Married?" was hilarious and true. I mean, if I had any hint that I was being surveyed for "Family Feud" I would come up with the most ridiculous and asinine answers I could think of--why? Because we are all idiots.

In this day and age, when a million dollar prize on a game show is something that you can actually win, please explain to me why you would go on this God-forsaken, midday joke of a show? I know you and your family stay on the show for like a week or something, so I am sure they sell it as....you have the potential to walk away with over $100,000! That's like the sign at Sonic that says, "Now Hiring! You can make up to $15/hour!" What they don't tell you is that number is based on public and their basic understanding of how the world works...I wouldn't bet on it.