And the Next American Idol Is...WHAAA???

27.7 million tuned in Wednesday night to watch the American Idol finale, if not for any other reason than that there was literally nothing else on.  The other networks know what they are competing with, so they prefer to concede rather than run in the race--I mean, "Pirates of the Caribbean?"  Really?  I digress.

For the entire season, Adam Lambert appeared as the heir apparent to the Idol crown, he really could do no wrong--except when he did wrong.  But even when he had us all going, "WTF was that?"  He sang the shit out of it regardless of what it was.  Even on Tuesday night, the judges all but declared the winner as Adam before a single vote was cast...so what happened?

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I am a huge Kris Allen fan, as I even wrote a glowing review of his "Falling Slowly" from the film Once.  I admit, I am an American Idol voter--in the early rounds.  But when it was just Adam, Kris, Danny and Alison, I stopped voting.  Why?  Because they are all amazing in their own right, and it doesn't really matter who wins at that point anyway.  Ahem, Chris Daughtry.

So, over 100 million votes were cast--breaking a world record.  I can only imagine all the tweens texting "Vote" incessantly while their parents thought they were sleeping or God forbid, doing homework.  I am sure AT&T made a friggin' fortune.  And the winner was not the Glam Rocker whom everyone had won about 8 weeks ago, it was the cute-as-a-button (but married) college student/Church Director from small-town Arkansas.  Even Kris couldn't believe it...he actually felt bad that he had won saying "Adam deserves this..." with a look of shock and embarrassment that made me want to give him a little hug.  Why?  I think the answer is actually a bit sad, really.  As much as we want to believe the world is changing and getting more progressive, there is still too much resistance to change the status-quo than we originally thought.

Adam Lambert was on the cover of "Entertainment Weekly" this week, emblazoned on Katy Perry's Elvis Cape on her performance of "Waking Up in Vegas," on last week's result's show, and had the most Google searches and iTunes downloads than any other contestant.  But, at the end of the day, American Idol is a family show.  It dominates the ratings because anyone from 8 to 80 can find something appealing about it...like Steve Martin, playing the banjo...And we all know that Adam Lambert was a bit, hmm, flashy.  He wore eyeliner, black nail polish, eccentric clothes and spent more time on his hair than the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. 

Anyone that would likely vote for Adam consider themselves too cool to vote for American Idol, even though they watch every week, so who ends up voting?  Teens (who lllooovvee Kris's ability to sing like he is singing to them,) middle America, because, let's face it, they don't understand Lambert's high notes nor his shoes, and moms.  Don't lie, you know you watch with your kids and you couldn't help but swoon over Kris's smile and puppy-dog eyes...I know I did.  So why all of Hollywood and the media worshipped the ground Lambert walked on, they were all too busy working out, drinking mojitos and eating sushi to actually make the text.

Not that any of this matters, we all know that they will both get record deals, and then we will see who actually makes it past their first album (insert Ruben Studdard/Clay Aiken/Taylor Hicks.)  

And to the douche-bags who tried to post around the email of Adam Lambert dressed in drag and making out with a dude and asking "Seriously, Is THIS Who You Want as Your Next American Idol?" The answer was a yes, and you can rot in hell.  You are just a self-loathing closet case that needs to accept this is who you are, and then get over yourself.

So another season is in the can, and we can all move our focus to the American Idol's more interesting younger sister, So You Think You Can Dance--God bless Cat Dealy--and then move on.  This year was probably one of the best I have seen, and congrats to both Adam and Kris, you did amazing jobs in your own right.

Drucker, Out.

PS:  Kara schooled the shit out of Bikini Girl.  "I would ask what's new with you, but I think I already know."  Priceless.